Bacon Turkey! Because the Internet.

bacon turkeyThanksgiving is almost here and that means most Americans will eat the equivalent of 10 meals that day, while most people in the world have 0 meals, and also that we’ll be celebrating the massacre of a bunch of Native Americans because we’re entitled and HEY, THIS LAND IS OURS NOW.


If you’re going to cook a turkey, I always generally favor deep frying one in peanut oil. But the next best thing? This bacon turkey!

1. Because bacon.
2. Because the Internet.

Cooking directions:

-Preheat your oven to….something. I’ve never cooked a turkey. So maybe start by just turning the damn thing on.

-Wrap your turkey in bacon. If you can see any bit of turkey skin, you’re doing it wrong. ADD MORE BACON.

-Toss the turkey in the oven and cook it?

I have no idea how to cook this thing. This pic was sent to me like five minutes ago. But I DO know how to eat it. Gimme.

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