The Riverbottom Nightmare Band Was Punk AF

Emmett Otter

When you think of punk in its earliest, purest form, what bands come to mind? The Stooges, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones? How about The Dead Kennedy’s or The Clash? Forget all that nonsense. The Riverbottom Nightmare Band was punk af and would destroy all those bands in a knife fight. They wouldn’t think twice about throwing down and sticking you. They’d steal your lunch money and kick ya in the dirt. After all, “Nightmare” Band isn’t just a clever name.

The band is comprised of the charismatic, quasi-glam leader Chuck Stoat on keys, Stanley Weasel on guitar, Fred Lizard on drums, Howard Snake on bass and Catfish…for…uhh…I actually don’t know why they let him in the band. He just swims in his tank and spits while the others kick ass and take names. (I also don’t know how a snake with no arms can hold a bass guitar, but that’s the mystery and allure to the greatest punk band history has seen.)

Emmet Otter

Wu Tang Clan may not be something to fuck with, but I’d question whether the Wu would want to fuck with the Nightmare Band. Chuck and his crew DGAF. They break traffic laws, they ride snowmobiles all over town, and they go into stores to terrorize its shoppers, destroying merchandise and taking whatever they please. They’re beyond hooligans; they’re above the law like Wilson Fisk or Sauron or Michael Myers. They do whatever they want and no one can stop them. NO ONE.

Their eponymous song boasts heavy ’70s riffs and the most badass lyrics ever recorded to tape. They even sing that they don’t brush their teeth so their toothaches can help them stay mean. This is a group of sadistic madmen, I tell you! They’re like the Clockwork Orange gang, but worse.

It’s a shame that the Riverbottom Nightmare Band dashed Emmet Otter’s dreams of winning the local talent contest, but it’s hard to be too disappointed with competition this gnarly. If Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is ever rebooted, Emmet better get himself a metal band or something or he’s gonna find himself shit out of luck once again.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you are dead to me, never come to this site again. Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas soundtrack was recently released on vinyl and digital, and it’s also now available on Blu-ray!  

Riverbottom Nightmare Band – Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas – The Jim Henson Company

Subscribe for more Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas! The Nightmare is a last minute addition to Waterville’s annual Christmas Eve talent show. The Jim Henson Company has remained an established leader in family entertainment for over 50 years and is recognized worldwide as an innovator in puppetry, animatronics and digital animation.