‘Zombeavers’ is a True American Saga for the Ages

zombeaversIn the last couple years, the big screen has seen some pretty great films. Oscar flair like Whiplash, Boyhood and Birdman were on fleek critically, while blockbusters like Jurassic World and Mad Max: Fury Road proved that they’ll forever dominate the summertime box office. But what about the highly criticized horror genre? What about the horror flicks that are even tinier than your normal indie fare? Movies about a group of teens trying to find themselves, trying to find love…all while hiding out in an isolated cabin in the woods and escaping a horde of zombie beavers.

What about those films you guys!?

Welcome to Zombeavers – the latest and greatest American epic that you cannot afford to miss. It’s like Dances with Wolves, except with beavers and a lot more dismemberment. Like Braveheart, minus Scotland, plus zombies. Zombeavers is a riveting tale about a group of young citizens being picked off one by one, and the zombie plague that will soon enough devour their entire woooorldddd. Its importance should never be undervalued in the grand history of film.

It all starts with a pair of truckers who spill some toxic chemicals into a dam. A BEAVER DAM to be exact. From there, it’s got all the musts: three hot young women on a getaway from school (check!), a weird, sketchy cabin (check!), and some boyfriends who pop by for a surprise visit but will most likely just add to the body count (check!). They’re all super grating until their blood is inevitably shed (check! check! check!) and their body parts are nestled between a pair of beaver teeth. Because toxic sludge + beavers = DEATH BY ZOMBEAVERS.

The movie is simply the genius of a mad scientist or something. .

It’s quite easy to chastise horror movies, but look no further than last year’s stellar The Babadook for proof that the genre can actually be well executed and deliver a powerful message. It can even symbolize an existing problem in society underneath the veneer of, in The Babadook’s case, a cursed children’s book that comes to life to terrorize the waking world. The Babadook received a plethora of critical Internet love, but where is the love for these river dwelling freaks? These once adorable animals turned carnal, rage-induced, and blood-thirsty creatures of the dead. Because I know for damn sure that if a beaver was trying to kill me – it would be a thing of nightmares. NIGHTMARES, PEOPLE!

Zombeavers debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2014 and despite a viral trailer that hit the web just before that, mums been the word for this little B-movie that could. But I am here to tell you that Zombeavers is a treasure to be cherished. A diamond in the rough that takes viewers on an 85-minute rollercoaster ride through all the feels. It puts viewers face to face with their own mortality, and makes them contemplate the consequences of their stupid, college-aged actions. It is an important film that will chomp through to your inner you and force you to re-evaluate everything you have ever known about life itself. It’s the Citizen Kane of contemporary horror. But better.

Do yourself a favor bite down hard on Zombeavers, now available to watch on Netflix Instant.

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