I never really understood the fear of clowns. Are Stephen King and Tim Curry to blame? Is coulrophobia, the fear of those make-up wearing weirdos, to blame? Is it some deeply-rooted biological thing that won’t be solved in a blog post? I don’t know, man, but maybe if I spent a night in Nevada’s Clown Motel, it might make all the sense.
Located in the old gold and silver mining town of Tonopah, Nev., The Clown Motel is most certainly not the place to be if clowns give you the wiggins. Not only is the lobby filled with hundreds of menacing clowns who might have an agenda of murdering you in your sleep, but each and every room is clown themed as well. Though, as mentioned, I have no existing clown aversion, waking up in a room surrounded with smiling freak shows might go ahead and add a phobia or two to my personal baggage.
It gets worse.
The motel shares a parking lot with a cemetery full of gold miners who died from a plague. The cemetery is literally right next door. It’s like a real-life horror film. If you realize that you forgot something in the car and the sun has already set, let it go, man. Otherwise, you’ll have to schlep past even more clowns to go out to your car that’s parked in a cemetery that may or may not be haunted by people who died gruesome, tortuous deaths. I sure as hell am not taking that death walk for a fucking iPhone charger. This whole motel/cemetery combo is like House of 1,000 Corpses meets It meets Motel Hell. (Is it Halloween yet?)
The motel is currently listed for sale for $900,000. The owner, Bob Perchetti, is ready to retire and move on from the creepy clown shrine he opened 20 years ago. I can’t even guess what kind of buyer is going to chomp at this bit—I shudder to think.
Would you spend a night in The Clown Motel?