Lady Gaga’s ‘Little Monsters’ are Little Bitches

Perfect IllusionThe video for Lady Gaga’s latest single “Perfect Illusion” dropped this week, and once again, her crew of Little Monsters are complaining like whiny little bitches.

The track is an interesting one–a slow burn that builds in energy and octave throughout its meager three-minute-run–and there’s a lot to grasp on to. It’s got tangible emotion, commanding vocals and a welcomed no-frills feel. The video magnifies its energy and rawness with fast pans and quick cuts that complement Gaga’s mad dance skillz. Sure, it may not be the instant globe-dominating hit that “Bad Romance” was, but not everything can that.

But back to these Monsters. It’s amazing (but equally as unsurprising) how unsupportive Gaga’s fanbase is. They’re talking shit on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, you name it. Opinions are like assholes…and, well, so are the Monsters. Here’s a sampling of some of the written diarrhea these jokers are spewing:

“Born this way, Telephone, Bad romance > Perfect FLOP”

“It was a terrible illusion bitch. The song is too repetitive by the way..”

“One word: EMBARRASSING! OMG! Her mouthing the words to the song never actually matches the song once visually, it’s uninspired conceptually, and that moment when she’s out in the desert in daisy dukes so short her labia hang out like mud-flaps on an 18-wheeler kicking at dust is a metaphor for her career. R.I.P. Joanne 2016-2016. <3”

Gaga, Perfect Illusion is a flop…how did you not hear it’s floppyness while recording it? It’s sounds like a last minute bonus track that never gets played and is always skipped by the fans….why gaga, why? Please don’t include it in the album track count….

These are the same “fans” who counted out ARTPOP before it was even released (remember #ARTFLOP?). This braindead legion of pre-teens (either in age or spirit) is so painful, yet entirely unavoidable on all of Gaga’s social pages. She deserves more than this. I feel sorry for “fans” who can’t realize (or don’t have the music savvy to understand) that Gaga is more Bowie, Mercury and Prince than Miley, Katy or Ariana. Maybe those seeking banger after banger should…I don’t know, fuck off?

Personally, my favorite artistsĀ evolve–musically, stylistically, creatively. It seems that a lot of these Little Douches want to trap 2008 Gaga in a fish bowl and be served the same label-forced fodder over and over; or maybe they should latch on to some boy bands or girl groups who can dole out predictable shitty music year after year. At least that way, they won’t run the risk of having their expectations challenged in any meaningful sort of way. God forbid.

Real talk though: Is “Perfect Illusion” about the Little Monsters!? Food for thought.

Continue hating, haters. I’ll be here, watching this video on repeat and awaiting Joanne‘s arrival Oct. 21.

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