Katy Perry’s Shark Won the Super Bowl

katy perry sharkApparently two teams were throwing a ball around yesterday, but the true winner of Super Bowl whatever-number-it-was: Katy Perry’s shark. Not both of them, per se, but specifically the one on the left…Ms. Perry’s right.

As you can tell from this gloriously crafted Vine, one shark is busting some sweet and summer-y choreography. This shark has some mad shark skills! He’s worked his entire life just to dance for Katy Perry at the Super Bowl, shrouded behind the awkwardness that is a huge, face-covering shark costume. Not exactly a career-making situation, but still. Sober shark is a professional. He or she promised him or herself that he or she was going to NAIL this dance. And Katy would be so pleased.

Then there is the other shark. That drunk motherfucker hiding behind the otherĀ shark costume. This shark…well:

This shark is a maniac. Whoever this shark is is either completely piss drunk or had a complete mental breakdown just seconds before going out to the largest Live audience in the history of television. Shark #2 just doesn’t give a fuck. Or they are attempting suicide as I type. My bet is that he or she has a serious hangover, coupled with a creeping feeling of doom at the pit of his stomach.

Shark #2: Even though you’re lost at sea, I will always love you.

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