Can all agree that Valentine’s Day is just the pits? Thanks to some candy/card/flowers company, we all run around like chickens sans heads buying teddy bears, chocolates, naughty undies, flowers all because corporate America has brainwashed us to do so. (But hey – you should be buying risque naughtythings any day of the week – just sayin’).
Despite my general curmudgeonliness over such a tacky holiday, one thing I do enjoy is inappropriate or creepy valentines. Because taking something wholesome and making super fucked up is always amazing. So here are some fun funnies to creep you out on this “special” day.
Always put your best Cage forward. Nic Cage is creepy enough…photoshopped Nic Cage? :::shudder::: Very scary.
Hitler always takes it to the next level. Blame it on my Cards Against Humanity-loving sense of humor.
SethRogan’s sexy body is both creepy and funny. I love this dude’s level of commitment. Somebody send this to Kim Jongy Jong.
I don’t know why I’m including this skunk. I really just feel bad for the fella. (Also, ladies, if your mentally unstable man gives you this card: don’t walk, run.)
Butt stuff. Hey man, I ain’t knockin’it. But just stare at the dude jack-in-the-box’s face. Stare at it long and hard. Keep running.
Viva la horror! Can’t forget about our old pals Fred and Jay. They have a thing or two to say about Valentine’s Day, too!
No words.
Some foods can really incorporate themselves with your kinky bedroom activities. Avocados should probably just stay in your kitchen though. This one makes me feel really uncomfortable in many indescribable ways.
The Watcher always watches. Giles, SuperCreep. Also, THOSE COMICS DIDN’T HAPPEN EVERYONE JUST LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER AFTER THEY SAVED THE WORLD AGAIN, OK!?
I hope you get laid really hard tonight. Happy Valentine’s Day!
