In reality, if Body By Bacon was a real thing, it would probably be very similar to Dad Bod…except without all those screaming toddlers who just won’t Go the Fuck to Sleep.

I found this shirt on Instagram and immediately got hungry. After I was done gawking at scrumptious #bacon for about an hour, I tracked down this delicious tee which can be found over at Nordstrom Rack for $12.97 – what a steal!

It only comes in this “Blue Bacon” color (which looks a little purple-y if you ask me), but I would totally rock this…while eating a bacon taco or something.

All the soft roundness without the fatherhood.

Body By Bacon. Get yours today.