Thanksgiving is almost here and that means most Americans will eat the equivalent of 10 meals that day, while most people in the world have 0 meals, and also that we’ll be celebrating the massacre of a bunch of Native Americans because we’re entitled and HEY, THIS LAND IS OURS NOW.

#Murica.

If you’re going to cook a turkey, I always generally favor deep frying one in peanut oil. But the next best thing? This bacon turkey!

1. Because bacon.
2. Because the Internet.

Cooking directions:

-Preheat your oven to….something. I’ve never cooked a turkey. So maybe start by just turning the damn thing on.

-Wrap your turkey in bacon. If you can see any bit of turkey skin, you’re doing it wrong. ADD MORE BACON.

-Toss the turkey in the oven and cook it?

I have no idea how to cook this thing. This pic was sent to me like five minutes ago. But I DO know how to eat it. Gimme.